What do you do?
How do you handle it?
I'm curious about how different people deal with the things that life/fate/karma/name your deity or demon throws at us.
More importantly... how do you wish you'd handled something differently? And, what have you done to CHANGE so that you're better prepared next time?
I'm all over the whole "change" thing... I've changed more things in my life over the last few months than most people change in years. I've changed my relationship status, my hair color and length, my job, my diet, my sleep schedule, added more exercise and of different types... the way I dress, the way I deal with my son, and the list of people I communicate with. The changes in my home are ongoing, but are a part of the picture as well.
Why? Well, I wonder that myself... is it cathartic moments that spur these changes? I've had more than one... and after each one, I go through a "growth spurt", for lack of anything else to call it. A time when I take stock of myself and of my life... look at where I am at that moment, and where I want to be. Then I look at everything and everyone around me and ask the same question: how does it all fit, and what's keeping me from being in that picture of "where I want to be"?
It's definitely progressive... each time it happens, I take steps toward that end goal. Sometimes I trip, step on the wrong path... and I can't COUNT the number of times I've wanted to just turn around and run the other way. It's so much easier to hide and ignore whatever the obstacle is... isn't it? Nope. It just compounds and comes back to haunt and piss you off later. Life has a way of doing that.
Do we learn from our mistakes? I think we do, but I also don't think that's the real question. Do we take ACTION as a result of learning from our mistakes??? I think that's the million dollar question. For example:
1. "I" lost my job (or my main source of income, which could be another person) and didn't have enough money to live on. So - when faced with that, a job is found. Basic survival. Knowing that it could happen again, do we prepare for it by saving money? Not usually. Why? We learned a lesson - jobs (source of income) can disappear without warning. Once we have a new source of income, the immediate problem is solved, so we quit thinking about it. One year later, another money problem arises - and while I could have spent the last year saving to keep it from being a problem, I didn't. Now, I have another seemingly unsurmountable problem to solve. I set myself up for it. Why? It becomes a cycle of behavior.
I've done this... I know this whole scenario very well. So why don't we actually force ourselves to take action? I can apply the same thing to eating and losing weight (my love for chocolate gets me into trouble)... staying at a job I hate... staying in a relationship that isn't working... there are so MANY things. Why do we sabotage ourselves knowingly? How do we STOP?
We finally see the insanity of it, I suppose... or have it shoved down our throat by a crisis, which forces us to change. Someone we love passes away, we end up sick ourselves, we end up homeless or in trouble... some issues we contribute to, and some we have no control over whatsoever. All we can control are our own actions. Wouldn't it be easier if we just changed because of our own understanding of what we need to do? What would happen if we just listened and RESPONDED WITH ACTION to that inner voice that tells us when we're being stupid? Whether it's a health choice (smoking, drinking, eating, etc), a monetary one, a personal relationship (loving the wrong person, taking those we love for granted, not expressing ourselves to those that matter), taking an opportunity given... it can all have an impact at an unexpected moment that can fill you with regret. Or... it can seriously impact those around us that love us and are left to deal with our poor choices in the end.
I think if I had to define any kind of resolution, that would be it. I know what is right and wrong... I just have to hold myself accountable. Instead of berating myself over NOT doing something (which makes me feel like crap), I choose to do something about it. I feel better about that choice than about beating myself up over every mistake. It's often harder, but in the end, it provides a more valuable result.
I often wonder why I wait so long to make a positive change... that's where this train of thought came from. I can't predict the future, but I can arm myself against the worst of it with some thought... and action.
The inner workings of my rambling brain on a Tuesday afternoon.
What do you think? Yeah, sure, I'm begging for a response. Surprise me and write something. ;-)
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