I am going to take it with me tomorrow to let my sewing genies look at it and give their opinion. Maybe I'm just old and missed this fad because I am so NOT a fashion person. :/
After this fiasco I wore something I've had for a while, but wasn't happy with the way it fit today. *sigh* I have shoulders like a linebacker, and the jacket wasn't particularly comfortable. What the hell - here it is. I had a belt with it at first to break the line (a brown belt to match the shoes), but the waist on this (as on many dresses) rides too high on my evidently-overly-long torso, and the seam wouldn't stay hidden by the belt, which annoyed my obsessive-compulsive side. I was uncomfortable all bloody day.
See how unbearably happy I look? *pfft*
Despite me feeling uncomfortable from a clothing perspective all day long, it was a productive day. :)
I mentioned something in my last post about having an appreciative viewer. This is a roundabout way to get to this, but here goes. It's a mom story.
My mother was a woman born in 1940, which gives you an understanding of the time in which she grew up. I will keep this relatively short by saying that she had challenges in her life, but was given a good example by a very strong, independent mother. She was a beautiful woman throughout her life - devastatingly beautiful as a teenager and glamorous as an adult. She was often compared to Elizabeth Taylor. She dropped out of high school after getting pregnant very young, and never went back. She went to work as a receptionist/secretary and ended up doing some print modeling. I've left out a lot of details, but the relevant part is coming up.
My mother judged her worth by the beauty others saw in her. While she always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be... that whatever I dreamed for myself I could make happen, she didn't ever believe that as it applied to her. My sister and I were taught the classic lessons of a southern lady from my mother's time - "put your face on" every day (makeup, for the uninitiated), dress like a lady, be polite, always look your best, flirt like a champion and find a RICH husband to take care of you for the rest of your life. I learned all the things necessary to make that happen. But while she told me that I could do or be whatever I dreamed, my father's example showed me how hard work could actually make that happen. That's not a knock against my mom - there were just two parents involved in my upbringing and they each had different influence. :)
I'll never forget watching my mother preen from the attention of men, and seeing her wilt a little if they didn't react the way she wanted/expected. She was beautiful, and when people noticed it or complimented her on it, she responded. Her looks were extremely important to her until the day until Alzheimer's disease made it impossible for her to remember their importance.
So, as I hit my teenage years, I began to judge my worth in the same fashion. If a boy found me attractive, I must be worthy of love. Sure, I was smart, but it was beautiful that counted. So, when I was faced with a man that was attracted to me, I could respond positively and feel good about myself... but only because THEY thought I was beautiful/sexy/whatever, not because I believed it personally. Well, that was never something that was going to last... and when left alone to look in the mirror, the judgement began all over again and the flaws stood out like a neon sign. Totally jacked up, right? Where was that whole "being a good person" in the line of importance, huh??
So, that is one life lesson that I have to overcome in this journey. Physical beauty, as I see it or as others see it, is not the "thing" that makes me worthy. That's one of those things I know on a mental level... but it is something I've had to work hard to try and unlearn... and I'm still working on it.
Now, can my darned closet cooperate with me tomorrow... PLEASE???? :)
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