Giving

It's that time of year again, and Christmas is two days away.  I've braved the retail mayhem and come out on the other side, my wallet thinner, but I'm perfectly ok with that.

Today's topic is all about giving.  I think that it's taking a different direction for me this year, as is everything else.  I look around me and see so many people I know in some sort of difficulty.   We've lost family, friends, health, marriages, jobs, homes... many have lost more intangible things - hope, faith, comfort and security.  Seeing people go through these situations has impact, unless you are oblivious to the state of the world around you.  I am certainly impacted, by some things more directly than others, and while I want to do something for everyone, I can't. 

I'll be the first to say that I love to give gifts.  I like to see that smile when someone receives something unexpected that they really like and didn't even know they wanted.   Or, to see them get exactly the thing they'd been hoping for most.  It's not anything more than that - to make someone I care about happy, or do something that makes that moment in life a good one.  If it's something that helps them, all the better.  Sometimes gifts are just frivolous, and sometimes they stem from need. 

This year, both apply.  My Aunt, about whom I've spoken before, is back in the hospital.  This is a continuing thing, and a cycle that will repeat until it simply can't anymore.  I wanted to do something special for her this year, because she has been such a huge influence in my life, and so special to all of us.  I thought about how dreary it is in a hospital - and how little there is to do.  She watches tv, she does have a book to read... but there is a need for something more.  So, I went and got her an iPod Nano and a speaker dock.  I'm going to load it with all of her favorite music, create playlists for her and take it to her in the hospital the day after Christmas.  It's a little thing, really, but it will bring her so much pleasure.  She loves music, and I know that I would go crazy being cooped up for so long without any music to distract me. 

This is also the first Christmas my boyfriend and I are sharing, so there is some significance there.  I'm not trying to create pressure... it just seems that everything to do with him has become significant for me.  I've chosen gifts for him with care... and there is one that I chose (had commissioned, actually) for specific reasons, which I hope he'll like.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed. 

My son - well, he's going to be spoiled, but he's also going to be so shocked.  I can't WAIT to see him open his present.  :)   My father, for whom it is terribly hard to shop , has things waiting on him that he will enjoy and find useful.

Being able to do these things is wonderful, and I love doing it.  But more than anything, I look around and realize how incredibly fortunate I am.  I have comfort, security, health... I am working, have a roof over my head and enough income to afford all the necessities.  I'm not struggling like so many others are. 

I don't think it matters how much I give in gifts, time or money... I don't feel like it's ever enough.  I feel like there's always something more I could or should have done.  This year, I've concentrated on those closest to me... where there are those that have lost, and have need... and some that will simply get a smile from a surprise they never guessed they'd receive. 

I only wish I could give the most important gifts of all... good health to my aunt; an easing of burdens for my cousin; peace to my father; a sense of purpose to my son; the end of financial difficulty for a dear friend; and for the man that I love... well, I will encapsulate several thoughts into one word only:  renewal.

With that, I wish you all the happiest of Holidays, and hope that you all share in the joy of giving in whatever manner you choose to engage in it.